Author: Kim Geyser

I have been taken to task (by our Chief Editor, Chris) for not including photos with my entries (Apparently our readers are more comfortable looking at pictographs rather than having to read articles).

As it is difficult to make photo’s on the subject of funny student bloopers, I thought you might be interested in a picture of myself.

So, I thus include a selfie of Bob playing his banjo for your entertainment. (Happy now Chris?)

(Ladies, if you like what you see, my telephone number is available on written request)

So now for the serious business of laughter:

Winter being around the Centurion corner, maybe another attempt to bring a smile on your face before the Cape cold fronts freezes up the 83 muscles your face needs to produce a smile.

My fans (well, the one and only known one so far) has requested some more student’s essay bloopers.

So here come some results from confusion of similar sounding English words but with different meanings:

• Arabs wear turbines on their heads.
• A triangle who has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene triangle.
• A myth is a female moth.
• One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the river Styx until he became intolerable.
• Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.
• Samuel Morse invented a code of telepathy.

and

• Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis.

while

• Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote “The organ of the Species”

Of course

• Madman Curie discovered Radio. (our sincere apologies for that, Madame Curie)

and

• Karl Marx became one of the Marx Brothers.

All the while: Queen Victoria sat on a thorn for 63 years and her dead was the final event which ended her reign.

(We trust Queen Elisabeth didn’t have to sit on a thorn to better that longevity record, but she better heeds the warning on the possible end of her reign)

Bob

Rotary being such a serious business, this website therefor also must be very serious.

Not something that suits me very well, so I sneaked in a new category called “On a lighter note” in order to produce, if not a smile, at least a twitch to the (hairy or not) upper lip of the readers.

And deal with the objections later.

Surprise surprise, the positives were 100% higher than the objections (I got ONE positive response, no negatives). Therefor I feel entitled to continue with this column.

So some more youthful fun transgressions to help you to survive till Xmas coming.

♥ The problem with inter-sexual swimming is that the boys often outstrip the girls.

♥ Running is an unique experience. I thank God for exposing me to the track team.

♥ A passive verb is when the subject is the sufferer, as in ” I am loved”.

♥ The difference between a King and a President is that a King is the son of his father but a    President isn’t.

♥ To be a good nurse you have to be absolutely sterile.

♥ The Greeks also created myths. A myth is a female moth.

♥ It was the sculptor Donatello’s interest in the female nude that made him the father of        the Renaissance.

♥ Queen Victoria was the longest queen, she sat on a thorn for 63 years.

♥ When a boy and a girl are deeply in love, there is no quilt felt between them.

and to close of:

♥ A virgin forest is a place where the hand of man has never set foot.

Maybe more next year?

Teenagers too have firm ideas about love and marriage.

But raging hormones can play havoc with senses like hearing and the comprehension of what was heard or the exact understanding of similar sounding words . The English language, being weird as it is, doesn’t always help and then we find strange but cute expressions in essays submitted by these teenagers.

Like:

♥ Adolescence is the stage in life between Puberty and Adultery.

♥ Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet.

♥ Having one wife is called: Monotony.

♥ A man who marries twice commits Bigotry.

♥ When a man has more than one wife he is a Pigamist.

♥ John Milton wrote “Paradise Lost”. Then his wife died and he wrote: “Paradise Regained”

Such bloopers do produce a smile on one’s face.

But remember, bloopers sometimes are pretty close to the truth, like:

♥ Acrimony is what a man gives to his divorced wife.